Category Archives: Motherhood

Crazy mommy imagination or true compassion?

I was extremely tired this afternoon, after morning Gymboree class with Matteo, and a big lunch. Matteo was zooming about in the living room enthusiastically, bringing me books he wanted me to read aloud. I couldn’t help dozing off each time he took off to find another book. Finally, I told him “mommy is so sleepy, can you read these book by yourself?” He complied but could only last about 5 minutes. After the third time, he climbed on to the sofa, and cuddled up next to me(after looking for airplanes out the window), and signed that he was sleepy.

Not believing him (since he was 1.5 hour away from his nap time), I asked him if he was sleepy. He signed the sleepy sign, and rubbed his eyes. I still did not believe him, though I was really hoping it was real. I thought, maybe I will let him play another 45 minutes, then put him down for nap. While I was thinking to myself, he got off the sofa and started putting away his books one by one. A routine we do right before each nap. Shocked, but I followed his lead and helped him clean up. Then I asked if he would like to change diaper and go upstairs, while fully anticipating him not going through the rest of the sleep routine. To my surprised, he led me to changing station, got changed without fuss, and afterward, walked toward the stairs. The bedtime routine went smoothly and he waved bye bye as I exited his room.

I went straight to my nap spot on the sofa, turned on the monitor to see if he really was tired….he ended up entertaining himself for one full hour before falling asleep. I was in and out of sleep during the hour, but I could hear him babble throughout my nap.

At this point, my heart was swelling with love and awe. While I was not sure Matteo was even capable of being considerate, I definitely felt cared for by him. His willingness to go to bed not sleepy, and play on his own for one full hour without complaining, seemed so beyond his age.

Later when he woke up, he remained quiet in his crib until I went into his room. His cheeks were rosy, his eyes were smiling at me. My whole being just melted all over again.

imageMaybe it was all in my head, but the love I felt from my 14 month old son was insurmountable.


The birth story

M 4mo4wk

Dear M,

I cannot believe how time flies. It seems like yesterday you were just born, and now you are almost 5 months old. I want to record our time together not just with pictures and videos, but also  with words so that I can remember how we felt along the way. Since mommy started late, I better start from the beginning.

When mommy was pregnant with you, I had very minimal discomfort. Very minor nausea in the first trimester, and I never threw up. That was probably why I gained so much weight! Total of 35 lbs! Before you were in my belly, I have always wanted to have a daughter, but strangely enough, after you were conceived, that feeling was totally gone. I knew that you would be a boy even before we found out, and my heart was overjoyed. Surely enough, the ultrasounds revealed your gender, and we couldn’t be more happy. It did not matter which gender, the moment we saw your little body, we were smitten. ¬†There were a couple hiccups during the pregnancy, each time mommy was very scared of losing you, but each time, God made it okay. Btw, your nick name was also hiccup, since you were always hiccuping whenever we saw you through the ultrasound. After you were born, you, to this day still have frequent hiccups, which your grandma thinks to be after my gene. Mommy was a very happy pregnant lady, and ate really well. I tried to give you a full preview of all the yummy food we enjoyed except for things that were not safe. You would often respond with flips, kicks and bubbles inside my belly after some meals. You seemed to really liked ice cream, smoothies and cakes. That, my dear, is a trait from your dad. I, who never had a sweet tooth, began to bake excessivly during the pregnancy. See how influential you were even when you were in my belly?

The night before your birth, mommy decided to celebrate daddy’s birthday early, thinking we would probably neglect daddy after you were born. That was the last night of our family of two. You were born the following night, 10/3/2013, at 8:45 pm at Washington Hospital. Your birth was very smooth, and mommy was able to push you out within 30 minutes of trying. Even though it was very unglamourous, and painful, the thought of meeting you soon kept me going. I lost a lot of blood giving birth, but none of it mattered, all that mattered was we finally got to meet you. The moment you came out, you cried ferociously. But you immediately calmed down as soon as you were placed on my chest. You weighed 6lb 3 oz, much smaller than we imagined considering how big mommy was in the last trimester. It was love at first sight for us, we fell madly in love with you. Our hearts were filled with joy, love, peace, and gratitude. At that moment we knew your name would be Matteo, which means ‘Gift of God.’

You truly are the most precious gift that God has given us, besides salvation through Christ Jesus. It is our hope that you one day may also experience the grace of Jesus. And we cannot wait to see how that unfolds!

Mommy has babbled on for quite a while, better get back to house chores. Until next time~

Love, always





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